12th Jun2016

Dirty Grandpa (DVD)

by timbaros

dirty_grandpa_136040Robert DeNiro and Zac Effron – what were you thinking?

Both DeNiro and Effron star in the new rude, crude, and obscene film ‘Dirty Grandpa’. We are ‘treated’ to seeing Robert DeNiro (as perverted frisky and unsexed Grandpa Dick Kelly – get it?) masturbate to an interracial pornography video the day after the funeral of his wife who he was with for 40 years. We also get to see Effron’s (James Kelly) brother pouring beer over his dead grandmother’s coffin, Effron wearing a bee thong with his arse out in the open (several times), which at one point comes off causing him to expose himself to a little boy, while simulation with the assumption of oral sex between the two (I’m not kidding here) and an endless, and I mean endless, supply of cock jokes, and cocks (one scene has Effron and DeNiro sharing a bed together in which DeNiro sleeps naked, and the next moment there is a penis in his face supposedly to be Grandpa’s). This is not to mention scenes of Effron in jail with a fellow cellmate feeling him up, the one gay character in the movie being made fun of because he is gay, two inept police officers who all but ignore the town’s drug dealer (Adam Pally) who happens to shoot guns in his tourist a/k/a drug shop, and an extremely horny young woman (Zoey Deutch) who has way too much sex talk with DeNiro.

It all adds up to one dirty, and bad movie. The plot is this: after the death of his wife, Grandpa Kelly wants to head down to his condo in Florida, so he tricks grandson Jason into driving him down there, much to the dismay of Jason’s fiance Meredith (Julianne Hough), who’s he about to marry and with the wedding rehearsal just days away. On the way Grandpa and Grandson run into Grandson’s ex-schoolmate Lenore (Aubrey Plaza), with the aforementioned horny Shadia (Deutch) and the gay camp Tyrone (Brandon Mychal Smith) in tow. Shadia’s got the hot hots for Grandpa (to tick one of her ‘must do’ boxes) and Lenore will realize that she’s got the hots for Jason. It’s a road trip that ends in most of the character’s lives changed, as well as the audiences. You will walk out shaking your head and vow to never see a Zac Effron (and possibly a Robert DeNiro) film ever again. Thanks to Director Dan Mazer (The Dictator) and writer John Phillips for taking Effron and DeNiro to new lows in their careers.

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03rd Jan2016

Precinct Seven Five and The Cobbler (DVD)

by timbaros

PSF_2D_DVDEntertainment One has just released two new films for the holidays, one (or both) of which may appeal to you.

‘Precinct Seven Five’ tells the story of ‘the dirtiest police precinct ever.’ It was Brooklyn’s 75th Precinct, during the 1980’s, which was in one of the toughest neighborhoods in all of New York City. But it was the base for many dishonest and sleazy cops as well. And the sleaziest cop of them all was Michael Dowd – who was then called ‘the dirtiest cop ever.’ He was born and bred in New York from an Italian family and was a police officer for 10 years and 5 months. And he broke almost every police rule in the book.

Precinct Seven Five is all about Dowd and how he went from being a working class honest policeman to a criminal, both protecting and robbing drug dealers and lining his own pockets with cash and drugs. It was a time during New York City’s low periods, the 1980’s, when drugs were rife and the murder and crime rates were at an all time high. Dowd used his authority as a police officer to commit crimes and acts of corruption in violation of his sworn duty to uphold the law.

Precinct Seven Five begins after Dowd’s 1992 arrest on charges of racketeering and conspiracy to distribute narcotics. He agreed to speak on Sept. 27, 1993, at then New York City Mayor David Dinkins commission on police corruption where Dowd admitted to committing thefts, extortion, engaging in narcotics trafficking, protecting drug operations, engaging in personal drug use, pretty much breaking the law by his own estimation hundreds of times. This hard-hitting documentary has Dowd explaining his actions, alongside interviews with his police partner Ken Urell, Urell’s wife, police investigators, and a few real life criminals. Real footage of a derelict New York City and photos of crime scenes puts us right in 1980’s New York City. Director Tiller Russell successfully tells Dowd’s story from being a respectful police officer to his arrest and conviction in 1992. It’s a shocking tale of how one man got away with so much in his years as a police officer, and exposed how much crime was rife within New York City’s police precincts back then.
Precinct Seven Five is now available on DVD, Download, and On Demand

The Cobbler

Adam Sandler plays a cobbler in his latest film simply titled ’The Cobbler.’ Yes, it does sound like a silly premise, but the film actually works.

Sandler plays lonely and sad Max Simkin. He’s inherited his father’s shoe shop, hence carrying on the family business that’s been passed down generations. But Simkin doesn’t want to be there – he’s just going through the motions. Simkin shares an apartment in Brooklyn with his elderly mother and lives to work and to take care of her. His perspective changes a bit when a young woman by the name of Carmen (Melonie Diaz) comes to his shop (as well as the barber shop next door, owned by Jimmy – Steve Buscemi) asking for his signature on a petition to prevent developers from kicking long-term residents out of local buildings. Carmen is just one of many different types of people who come into Simkin’s shop. Other customers include the beautiful model who lives with her English boyfriend next door, as well as local thug Leon (Method Man). But when Simkin’s shoe stitching machine stops working while he’s fixing Leon’s very expensive shoes, he uses the machine in the basement that used to be his fathers. And when he’s done fixing Leon’s shoes, he tries them on because they’re the same size as him, and lo and behold Simkin becomes Leon! It’s a hilarious discovery, because Simkin continues to try on other people’s shoes that have been left in his shop, and he literally becomes his customers, from an obese black kid, to a transvestite.

This leads Simkin to become anybody he wants to be, in any situation. But he’s led back to wearing Leon’s shoes which leads him to becoming mixed up in Leon’s criminal activity. It’s activity that involves Simkin (as Leon) to go to the real Leon’s flat to investigate what the real Leon is up to, where he’s mistaken for Leon and then led around as Leon to handle his illegal activity. Simkin also becomes involved with Carmen and her orgazination in helping out an old man who is about to be kicked out of the apartment he’s lived in for 45 years. Thrown in Ellen Barkin as a rich criminalizing real estate socialite and Dustin Hoffman as Simkin’s father (who’s actually Simkin but then later is his real father), and you get a charming comedy drama that’s funny and cute. While the ending is a bit silly and oversentimental, it’s a magical ride. ’The Cobbler’ is written and directed by Tom McCarthy, who is now receiving rave reviews (and possible Oscar nominations) for his soon to be released film called ‘Spotlight.’

‘The Cobbler’ is available now to download and is out on DVD and On-Demand on 4th January 2016.


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20th Aug2014

Killing Season – DVD

by timbaros

images-230DeNiro. Travolta. Both star in Killing Season. Unfortunately, this movie never made it to the cinema. It’s out now on DVD and Blu-Ray this week.

 Both men’s careers have seen better films and Killing Season doesn’t do anything to add to their glittering C.V.’s.
DeNiro plays former U.S. soldier Benjamin Ford who took part in shootings and killings in the Bosnian War, and in particular was instrumental in the attempted killing of former Serbian soldier Emil Kovac (Travolta). Ford is in retirement mode, living in a cabin somewhere in the mountains in America. He lives alone, and prefers it that way. He’s not even willing to travel to his grandson’s baptism. Then in a cafe on the other side of the world in Eastern Europe is Kovac, who is handed a folder with Ford’s picture and address. And we can only assume at this point that Kovac wants to pay Ford a visit.
So Kovac shows up at Ford’s house (Travolta tries desparately to wing a Serbian accent to not much luck, and he’s even given a beard that looks painted on). The men initially bond, as Kovac tells Ford that he’s a traveler hiking in the mountains. But it’s not too long before Kovac shows his true colors and turns against Ford. They play cat and mouse in the woods where before they were shooting elk and then it turned to them trying to shoot each other, with Kovac telling Ford why he was actually there. Ridiculously, Kovac captures Ford and makes him put a rope through his just-cut tendons, and makes him hang upside down this way. This scene is not for the squeamish. Then Ford breaks free, and it’s his turn to capture and torture Kovac, and The Killing Season goes on this way for the rest of it’s 90 minutes. It’s not until the very end that we are told why Kovac went after Ford. It’s a good surprise ending but it’s a bit too late to save this movie.
I don’t understand why Travolta and especially DeNiro agreed to do this movie. While DeNiro has made a few stinkers the past few years, including Last Vegas, Grudge Match and The Family, these movies weren’t as bad as this one, while Travolta still can’t be forgiven for being in 2010’s From Paris With Love. Director Mark Steven Johnson, who also brought us Grudge Match, hasn’t made any memorable films in his career (unless you are a really big fan of Grumpy and Grumpier Old Men). So it’s strange that DeNiro has starred in two of his films (Grudge Match and this one), as the quality of filmmaking is just not there. The best thing about Killing Season? The music. Stay until the very end of the credits and you will be graced with beautiful music by Christopher Young. It’s beautiful music, while the $30,000 U.S. gross of this film is definitely not music to the film’s producers!

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